Fleeting Romance

I have tried several attemtps to be seen by prospects, yet they have always failed to see me, the real me. I joined a group just to be a part of it. To extend my thin network of friends. First there was jl. Wow, a nursing student. we exchaged text messages. He mentioned that he is interested to know me more. The kind of line i've used in previous life forms. He says that im too weird and that he likes it. Maybe he has seen mental patiens which I am so attuned to. That part I really don't know. At first if it doesn't work, as I've said to myself. you pick up your ego then nurse it, then go to the next stage of courtship. Find another one. Then he became to happy, he invited me over to his place, which is for me a major turnoff since he just wants my body to be used and abused. No, we didn't do it. i said that I don't like the idea of sex just to "know me more." And then the deal or no deal scenario: anung fs mo? of course I have to give it, I've wasted my time to go "this far" so there.

I am really interested to see him since he has a nurturing kind of soul. the kind of spirit which i can lay my broken heart to. The next day and the next following the first day. He didn't text, I knew what happened, he didn't like what he has seen. So there, I moved on to the next. I didn't try to win him back, that would be too "unpridely." May ego din ako kahit wala akong maxiadong confidence.

Then came Harvie. He's a newbie on the group. we exchanged messages as usual to get to know each other. And this time he's not that "invite you over to my place" kind of guy, so i thave thoguht of him as a breath of fresh air. Ewww, I was wrong. I Told him that walter and I are friends, and that we have known each other since gradeschool, so he and i must have the same wavelenghts. Then came his text message: you know I like Jomo but he doesn't like me. I was stuck. I could've said, but im here, in "front of you m offering myself, can't you see me?' but no, I didn't do that. After that messaage he asked for the signature i-want-to-see-u-online agenda: may fs ka, paad naman. History repeats itself. He didn't text again afterwards.


Oh I should have mentioned anton, small world with dakota package. Small workd becuse he is a close friend of an officemate which had invited me over to bed last night and dakota package because that is what my friend told me bout. I don't wnat to dwell on the small and dako words...
this guys is so into me, i can feel it, i have given him all my furyoku since he's the third attemptee, I I don't want to lose this guy since he sounds sincere and nice. Ok maybe not. One time, he invited me over at starbucks southmall(yes there is now!!) for a coffee, I received his message, while im stomping the keyboard with hard presses and thick expletives since I can't beat the mini boss while im playing Granado espada. i don't want to go at first since it's raining triceretops and rhinoceros outside and besides, I smell funky, i can't smell the Lacoste Red perfume anymore..And I have a face with oil as thick as a lechon. No I won't just sell myself showing up like a piece of trash na nilampaso sa malansang dining table. He is insistent, whooo, i like people who longs for me I thought. So i told him what I was doing, as to why I can't show up. then he texted: add m ako fs mo(email address here), i have thought ok, nothing to lose since i feel good beating the mini boss. I added him, the next day, he was one of the "friends" list, and he has disappeared

Moving forward, there came Iliac, he's an sop kind of guy, which bores me to death. I never liked. the oohs and aahs over a wire. It doesn't work for me no matter how horny I am, sop for me doesn't sell. he is a student, nursing i believe. I received a message just after my unlitxt has expired whch goes something like: twagan mo ako sa house, usap usap lang .landlyn. Wink. He must be so horny to look forward for my attention.My reply has a tinge of insecurity on them which goes like: wrong send ka ata. then he replied, that no it wasn' a missent text, it was me which he wants to talk to over the phone, I won't dwell too much on what i've said after that, lets just say that it kinda gave him the idea that were not close and you don't have to treat me like "fubu's." he got offended, and mentioned that he will no longer text me because he felt like a complete stranger. My point is that im trying to shove him away, he didn't get it at first but then I send him another message that made my point clear: check mo fs ko para matapos na to. I didn't want to send it at first because i might be burning a bridge which hasn't even built strongly yet. He's reply was, "what do you mean?!' I told him the ugly truth, that I don't want the cold treatment after exchanging fs account. I've seen him on fs bec he keeps on insisting to be added on my friends list though he hasn't seen mine yet. Darn his confidence soars high, I thought
His final txt goes like this:wel d aq ganun, 4gt bwt it, I dn't ivn aks 4 ur fs acc. tnx, xpire na ulit ko.


I have a penchant of messing things up, whether intentionally or not. I''ll say charge it on experience. That's what happened for the past two weeks just so this blog be updated.

currently listening to Teardrops on my guitar

*update* anton, just now, texted back*