walang kwenta!

Can you remain single for the rest of your life and yet remain as happy like a couple?
I am losing hope. I am a "bit" pessimistic.I simply don't want to dwell on the overflowing emotings hovering over me. And the emotions were not good. Pessimissm.
Singularity enables us to feed our utmost desire, it feeds our heart for the longing to be loved and be loved in return. Given my current insecurity, which i doubt will I ever overcome, there is no getting away with it. So in the meantime, my being single is on a stale plate. Which is exactly the reason I am looking for someone to love.
Pessimissm makes me hope for the worst and fear the most dreadful.
One word: Playing safe.
I am not really good with rejection because I have yet not treaded the one-disappointment-after-the-other scenario yet. I am soo scared that if my confidence crumbles to dust, rebuilding it is next to impossible.
I never had a suitor. I never had a nightlife. Nobody would want to approach me because of my horrible image. Nobody asks about my whereabouts. No one wants to hear about my current lovelife. Well, who would? I am a person who has lots of bad/ugly things than good ones. I will never be a gift to someone else nor a knight and shininng armore. Nathan, gumising ka, tangina mo. bakit ang panget mo?!!
I guess I just have to accept the fact that not all people are gifted with a soulmate/lover.
No more drama and I hate myself.