Katangahan galore

This story of mine started out four years ago, everytime I go malling, a bookstore is a place wherein I usually visit. I get through skim thru glossy magazines to indimidate myself if I can be the person in the picture in the not so near future. I tend to challenge my ego...sometimes I dream of having a gala affair with the Prietos. Tessa, should be there, i thought, for I will sport how creative i am too. Feathers and balloon fusion "terno" would make her gaga over my creation. When reality sinks in and I am as jologs as the term JOLOGS, I would put the magazine down--my dreaming haze has reached it's finality. I wake up from daydreaming then left the magazine station.

On the corner of my eye while checking out the fashion books I would love to spend my Jollibee money on, something caught my attention. It was book, a book with two faces split diagonally the combined as one, Face Forward was it's title. Kevyn Aucoin, the late, great make up artist of the stars, was it's author. I picked the hardbound copy of it, it feels so heavy, then upon opening, I found him!

His name was Alex Peruzzi, you can see him on page 143 on face Forward. A former lover of Kevyn, now a "confidant and one of my best friends" says the author. This manhattanite was transformed by his ex from a georgous guy to a quintessential supermodel, which I so admire--Linda Evangelista-through make-up. Wait, I became "depressed" because "i fell in love with him so much." Don't fret yet, that was eight years ago!

There are times I would constantly think of him as my "soulmate" for whatever reason--love(very cheesy), creating love stories beetween me and him was my way of wasting time."ilove you baby! Iove you tooo, tsup tssssup--that type(goosebumps!)My friends tell me it's pathetic. It's true, but for me daydreaming bout alex was my lifeblood. It's the only time I can share my emotions to the universe(hello!anybody there?!) It's futile, useless. melodratically stupid but nonetheless a worthwhile, beautiful was to wast time.

And lately I've been thinking about my present sanity. Imagine: me going loco for someone who haven't seen me yet(probably never) Someone from New York(the farthest place I've been to on a "gala" was in Tagaytay) and someone who doesn't know I exist a trace. Hopeless romantic or fool, am I? nah! maybe both!

Everytime the sone "betty davis eyes" play on the radio, my mind conjures up images that speaks fo WInter. Winter in new york. And of course Alex holding hands withhis "proper" soumate, notme. What can i do to tell him i like him very much?! AHA! The Internet. After googling him for several hours, I can't find him, not a trace whatsoever! I thought, I don't have a hope, do I?

Jealousness washed over me, What if h'es married to another guy, having the time of their lives and settling down with kids as a family? I could answer that question. I can only give a Maybe.

Hope is still there--you can never lose it. It will never lose it'seternal shine. But as for me, it might be a good idea to fly to newyork, not for greener pastures, but to Find Alex. It would take years before I can accomplish that, and by then, he would have been too old for my liking.

Well, right now, it might just be a dream and a nightmare altogether

*gosh, i have written this piece 8 years ago. I was 16 years old back then. Grabe, ang tagal na no? May ibang part na kinilabutan ako sa kakornihan eh At isinulat ko pa yan sa notebook ko at sa likod ng mga isinulat ko may mga nakalistang ng mga bagay na gusto kong gawin bago ako magsettle down, ala bucket list hehe at sa notebook ding yun, ay nakasulat ang lahat ng mga callcenter offices sa makati at ortigas sa gusto kong aplayan. At si Alex ang dahilan kung bakit simula ng magcolcenter ako, Alexis na ang name ko sa phone(after haruka, Michiro hihih!).At(there's more) nakasulat din sa notebook na yun ang mga crush ko na dinaan ko sa F.l.a.m.e.s H.o.p.e. Let me count the ways, hmm. arnel caporal/carporal(na isang twink sa jollibee sm dati, na wala na akong balita kung nasan na sya ngayun) si Leonardo Cuaderno, na kamukha ni Tom Cruise, at dancer sa highschool namen at sinamba samba ko at sinundan ko hanggang bahay, si Richard Chan, ang taong sinundan ko talaga hanggang moonwalk para alamin din ang bahay nila, na naging dahilan ng paguwi ko "while crying in the rain." Ang sarap balikan ng mga katangahan mo dati, ang daming nagbago na kasi.At tinagao ko na nga pala yung post ko tungkol kay troy kasi pinabasa ko yun sa kanya eh, tapos nagsorry din ako after ilang verbal clashes thru text. ok na kame. ata. at binura ko din yun to give my respect to him. it's not troy's fault in da perst plays. yun lang